AN ODE TO MY GRAND AUNT

My grandaunt passed away last weekend when I was in Boracay. I received the sad news while sunbathing. So it took me several days before I got to visit her wake. As a matter of fact, I was able to pass by only on the morning of her interment. Before I went to work, I passed by Arlington Memorial Chapel to pay my last respect. When I got there, I found that the door to her room was locked. It was a sad sight for me, from the outside looking in. Her coffin surrounded only by flowers, with no one in sight. I asked the staff to open the room for me, after saying that I was a relative. While praying, I kept apologizing to her that I can't stay long, because I was too afraid being alone there with her. I was quite hesitant to view her from her coffin, so I just talked to her since I had the room to myself. I started reminiscing how it was growing up with her, how she would always remind me to wear a halfslip when wearing a white dress or skirt. I recalled one time, she came up to me during a family gathering and whispered that I was wearing only a halfslip, yet again. Laughingly, I tried to explain to her, "Lola, this is supposed to be the outerskirt already."

My grandaunt was a spinster. She lived taking care of my great grandma, and when the latter passed, she lived her life alone, with her dogs. Her caretakers told us stories that she spent P25,000 a month for groceries for her dogs, which was more than enough for an average family of four. They also claimed that she would feed her dogs with Goldilocks Mamon for merienda.

During my last visit to her, I realized the reality that no matter how you live, you will die alone. The thought made me shiver. It disturbed me so much that I could not bring myself to tell that story to anyone until I came home that night, fearing that relating this story would bring me to tears. But it was a fact of life and all of us must face it. It just was not clear to me until that sad morning.